Uh, ok so like, we made this post as a joke about SEO for the phrase "how to do sex", which we noticed yesterday was the top Google referrer to our site. So we made this stupid joke, but, well, the joke was too effective, and now this is literally the top Google result for "how to do sex".
So, if you're someone who came here because you genuinely want information on how to Do Sex, the BuzzFeed health team has some actually informative posts about sexual wellness and health:
Hello, reader. Thank you for googling "how to do sex."
You have definitely come to the right place. BuzzFeed is a great site, and we're pretty sure someone who works here has Done Sex at some point (we are not sure, but statistically, it just seems likely, right?).
First step: You need to acquire the proper license to Do Sex.
Go to your local post office and ask for the forms to fill out your Doing Sex license. The postal workers will be happy to help you.
Once you have applied to Do Sex, it will take 4–6 weeks for your Doing Sex license to arrive.
When you have your Do Sex permit, you are ready. The next steps are VERY important. Pay very close attention or you won't know how to Do Sex.
Katie Notopoulos is a senior reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture and is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.