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What It's Like Signing Up For OkCupid For The First Time

Who knew it was possible for a person's emotions to shift so dramatically so quickly?

Posted on May 29, 2013, at 2:35 p.m. ET

Maybe you've been feeling a little lonely lately.

Or at least ... ready.

You always told your friends to shut up when they suggested online dating. But this time ... this time you wonder.

So you invite some of them over to help you make a profile. To make it "fun."


At first, you're aglow in the soft lighting of a laptop screen with seemingly dozens of hot people on it.

There are a LOT of cliches, though, to be honest.

But eventually you find someone who sounds (almost, kind of) PERFECT for you. And you know s/he's available because s/he's on here too!

Your friends tell you to send a message, but you're too nervous.


So you do the next best thing.

OK, if it's OkCupid you "rate," not wink. Same thing!

But in the morning, your inbox is still empty. And you try to play it cool ...

But you can feel yourself starting to lose it.

So throughout the day you walk around hating anyone who looks like they might be in love.


When you log on OkC after work, you see it: an email.

And ... well, it's not from the person you'd hoped. But this one seems cute enough!

You have a drink or three to calm your nerves.

So you write back your most charming, mysterious, funny, coy, (slightly drunk?), alluring message.


And they write back so soon! It's not a .... GREAT message? But it's ... something?

It goes on like this for a while.

Eventually they ask you out, which, duh.

On the night of your date, you show up first. Even though you tried not to leave early.


The greeting could have been ... smoother.

The conversation is ... fine? Boring. It's hard to say.

This no longer seems likely, that's for sure.

Neither of you is quite sure what to say or do at the end of the date.


But it doesn't matter, because you made it, and now you can go home.

... and start worrying about what happens next.

... and try to understand why anyone would send messages like all the other ones you got today. (And from OLD people! And BABIES!)

It is probably time to have another drink. Log off for today. You've done enough.