New rule: dating tips should always be delivered in six-second loops.
Chiara Atik, dating expert (and sometime-consultant to FWD's internet etiquette advice column) at HowAboutWe, has written a book about dating in the modern age: Modern Dating: A Field Guide From the Experts at HowAboutWe. To celebrate the book's release, HowAboutWe is posting the entire book in Vine form — dating wisdom in easy-to-digest, six-second segments.
BuzzFeed asked HowAboutWe for Vines that would help out those of us who stress out over dating and technology. Here are five of their short and smart video tips for flirting in the digital age — including what you can accomplish online and what you have to do IRL. (These are promotional — and meant to be viewed in your Vine feed — so there's a book shot in every one, but it's all solid and practical advice!)
Your Online Dating Profile: Prove It
Chiara says: "On any dating site, the profile questions are carefully selected in order to make it easier to talk about yourself in an appealing, fun way. And the more details you give, the more your personality comes through. (For example, if the question is “Name an Interesting Place You’ve Travelled,” don’t just say “Rome,” but rather, 'Rome, where I had the best coffee of my entire life, and ended up accidentally stealing a Vespa for two hours. (It was an honest, but embarrassing mistake -- I’ll tell you about it when we meet.)'"
The Four Things You Should Never Text
Katie (FWD's own tech etiquette expert) says: There are a lot of ways to be an awful texter, but cutting the following from your texting lexicon (texticon?) will help you avoid falling in with the worst of the worst. Never write "k" or "nah." Both sound dismissive and uninterested. Sending a text that reads only "wats up" is lazy and unlikely to stimulate a good conversation. And I KNOW you know this, but using that tongue-hanging-out emoticon is just plain creepy.
Don't Overthink Asking Someone Out
Chiara says: "If you want to go on a date, at some point, someone has to ask the other person out, and honestly, it might as well be you. But asking someone out doesn’t have to be as formal or terrifying as you may think! A sneaky way to do it is by simply inviting them to ask you out. Say “Let me know if you want to grab a drink sometime.” That way, you’re suggesting the date, but the ball is in their court. Another way to do it is to just casually mention that you have an extra ticket to an event, or were thinking of checking out a new restaurant, and inviting them along. If asking them out in person is too bold for you, make sure to get their email, number, or Facebook info so you can reach them later."
How NOT To Flirt On Facebook
Chiara says: "Like it or not, Facebook has become instrumental in the dating world, and an important way of communicating and learning about each other. If you’re Facebook friends with someone you’re interested in, make sure to read their signals: don’t “like” everything he or she says if they’re not also liking your stuff, don’t post articles or notes on their wall if they don’t respond, and try to refrain from Facebook Chatting every time they’re online. And while stalking is, probably, inevitable (you’re only human!) try not to blow your spot by 'liking' their photo from 2007, making it clear you’ve been digging in their archived photos."
5 Profile Pictures To Avoid While Crushing
Chiara says: "Your profile picture is the most important part of your online dating profile. Yeah, it’s shallow. But it’s also human nature. In general, you smiling naturally at the camera or looking relaxed in a candid shot is perfect. Make sure to have at least one full body shot: action shots, pictures of you dressed up, pictures from vacation are all great. Photos to avoid at all costs: mirror self-portraits (we shouldn’t be able to SEE the camera!), photos of you with your ex, photos of you with your distractingly attractive friend/cousin, or any photo with duckface."
As For Everything Else...
HowAboutWe will be posting the rest of Modern Dating in video format on Vine over the next two weeks. Catch the rest of their posts via their Twitter account.