53 Things That've Changed Since The iPhone Came Out

The first iPhone came out five years ago today. That's a pretty long time, it turns out.

1. Apple is the most valuable company in the world

2. Which made a lot of rich people much richer

3. AT&T has so many customers that its network doesn't work

4. But T-Mobile is nearly bankrupt

5. The Blackberry is dead

6. And Nokia is in huge trouble. When's the last time you saw one of these?

7. These events are the biggest news of the day

8. And we all listen to this guy now

9. Because he basically made a huge iPod touch and it still turned out great

10. Gadgets got weirdly political, so everyone's a fanboy

11. Touchscreens are everywhere

12. And everybody understands what this stuff means

13. Browsing the internet on a phone is a completely normal thing

14. And every company has an app

15. Other phones got app stores too

16. Just the word "app." How often did people say that before 2008?

17. We've stopped carrying separate media players

18. And nobody needs these things

19. You can't see the band when you go to a concert (but you can watch them on YouTube later)

20. The company that makes these came into existence AND got shut down

21. Nobody likes Flash anymore (and it's dying)

22. We've seen a bunch of famous peoples' junk

23. We don't look where we're walking

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24. And text messages are organized like emails, instead of in one big list

25. But we write them in inscrutable symbols, so it doesn't really matter

26. Oh god, A U T O C O R R E C T

27. Which means these are the only humans that can still spell

28. We treat our phones like babies, because they're ridiculously delicate and require constant attention + feeding

29. And we even talk to them, like actual insane people

30. But we never make phone calls, because why would we do that?

31. We're starting to pay attention to where our gadgets come from

32. And even though we don't have one of these anymore...

33. We never get lost

34. Waiting in line is much easier

35. And we don't argue for hours about dumb trivia anymore

36. But we can never escape Twitter and Facebook and it's great but its also it's ruining all of our lives (HELP)

37. Anyway, nobody does crosswords

38. Because we're too busy hooking up with anonymous strangers

39. Or because we're all playing this dumb game

40. But seriously, everyone is a gamer now, and simple casual games have gotten awesome

41. And it's much easier to keep kids occupied (and all our kids' brains have been permanently rewired)

42. People pay for software again (just, not very much)

43. But every big box store is basically just a showroom for Amazon

44. Every fight gets posted on the internet

45. All news is instant, no matter where we are

46. And we always know what song is playing in the bar

47. Smartphones all look kind of the same

48. We read the same way we watch TV: with a DVR

49. We do this a lot more

50. All our photos look old, and we instantly send them to EVERYBODY

51. We use Spotify and Pandora instead of listening to the radio

52. The pooping experience has been REVOLUTIONIZED

53. This infernal marimba sound is burned into our brains forever

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