This is Joey Adams, a 21-year-old junior at Michigan State University.
On Wednesday, his friend tagged him in a post in the class Facebook group. A girl had placed an ad for someone to be her roommate's formal date, and Adams' friend thought he could be the right choice.
Ashley Harrington, who had placed the ad, told BuzzFeed News that she decided to "take matters into my own hands" because her roommate had been too busy to meet people.
"Ever since we got back from Christmas break, my roommate had been talking about how she needed a date to her formal, but she has been studying so hard for the MCAT that she hasn't been able to go out and meet people. She kept complaining, so I decided to take matters into my own hands! I told her the night before I posted it on Facebook that I came up with the perfect way to find her a date. She thought it was hilarious and agreed that I could post it."
And when she did ... boy was Adams was READY.
Yep, he made a résumé. But it's no ordinary resume — it's his DATING RÉSUMÉ.
Adams' résumé starts out pretty traditionally, with his major, GPA, and work experience as a lubricants consultant (which he promises is "not a euphemism").
Then it gets into his skills, which include "crying during Marley & Me," "acting like a dad in public," and "replying to long texts." He is up front about his greatest weakness, which is rollerblading.
It even breaks down how he uses his time, of which roughly 70% is split between "academic grind," "religious functions," and maintaining his dog's social media presence.
The origin story of the dating résumé actually dates back several months ago, Adams said.
"At the beginning of the semester I was in one of the MSU cafeterias and saw this absolutely gorgeous girl. We started making small talk and I worked up the courage to ask her on a date," he said.
"She asked if I had a dating résumé that she could look at, and when I said no (like any normal person would) she told me no," he said. "So afterward I decided to make one, so if it ever came up again I could use it in my favor."
Another MSU student saw the Facebook exchange (and Adams' "12/10 resume") and shared it on Twitter.
People are truly amazed by the résumé.
Sadly, Adams' didn't get the date, even though he was — in his words — "DTF (down to formal)."
In fact, he never even wound up meeting the girl.
"Ashley informed me that the mysterious suitor has since asked another guy to formal. I never actually talked with the girl who originally needed a date, just Ashley, who originally made the Facebook post," he said.
Ashley Harrington told BuzzFeed News that she "was definitely rooting for Joe to be chosen!"