In case you’ve been busy, a LOT has been happening in the news this Wednesday!
First of all, Michael Cohen testified in front of the House Oversight Committee. He spoke about how far he went to protect President Trump as his right-hand man — including lying about shady business dealings, threatening people hundreds of times, and even lying to Congress.
And more importantly, Carly Rae Jepsen released 🚨 TWO. NEW. SONGS. 🚨
The new songs, “Now That I Found You” and “No Drug Like Me,” are pop perfection and possible early contenders for song of the summer (February be damned).
Naturally, Carly Rae Jepsen fans are deeply offended that Congress would dare schedule Cohen’s testimony to conflict with such an important day.
the fact that the house oversight committee hasn’t interrupted this cohen testimony with a breaking news report about carly rae jepsen’s new bops is deeply telling. and also rude. https://t.co/qJs0H974He
Some were disturbed that our nation’s leaders would not have the moral courage to ask Cohen about the new singles.
Very disappointing that no one is asking Michael Cohen about the new Carly Rae Jepsen singles
AOC: “Mr. Cohen, thanks for being here. Sir, is it your opinion that the new Carly Rae Jepsen slap?” COHEN: “Ma’am, I have stated that I believe Ms Jepsen slaps.” AOC: Mr. Cohen, I’m not talking about Ms Jepsen. I clearly asked about her two new singles. Do they slap yes or no
Many impatiently waited for a break in the hearing to go listen to the songs.
cohen asking for a break minutes after carly rae releases 2 new songs is the only win i need for today
Others prioritized differently.
when the Cohen hearing is a dumpster fire, but there are new Carly Rae Jepsen singles
YOU, UNCULTURED: "i'll always remember February 27, 2019 for the stunning Michael Cohen testimony, proving forever the criminal conspiracy at the heart of an American presidency" ME, WISE: "there were TWO new carly rae singles. same fuckin day, no shit. both cold bangers natch"
*mutes Cohen hearing* *listens to new Carly Rae Jepsen songs 100000 times*
Don’t 👏 let 👏 them 👏 distract 👏 you. 👏
It’s pretty pathetic that Congress would schedule the Michael Cohen hearing today as a brazen attempt to distract from the two new Carly Rae Jensen singles.