Hello everyone. You think 2019 has so far turned out to be such a bore, totally consumed by the partial government shutdown? Well gather round, children, we have a good ol'-fashioned crazy-ass-wtf-oh-no-he-didn't animal story!
First things first: This story involves a very dead, recently killed raccoon, the carcass of which was carried into a McDonald's in San Francisco by someone who may have a mental illness.
That said, it's definitely not something you see every day and there's a lot going on here.
Warning, graphic photo below.
SERIOUSLY, I'M NOT JOKING.
OK, HERE YOU GO, DON'T @ ME
The incident occurred when a man brought the carcass inside the McDonald's on Potrero Avenue and 16th Street early Sunday morning, prompting a predictable freakout and forcing the restaurant to temporarily close for sanitation efforts. And with blood still dripping from the raccoon's wounds, it was likely a very intense one.
(WARNING ANOTHER CARCASS PHOTO BELOW.)
The man who brought the raccoon inside was interviewed by police, who reportedly said he did not meet the criteria for psychiatric detention, which typically hinges on whether a person presents a danger to themselves or others.
So the raccoon was disposed of (by a customer), the restaurant was scrubbed clean and approved to reopen by public health officials, the man apparently went on his way, and the trash panda ended up in...the trash. RIP.
BUT, my friends, the story does not end there. In fact, there is so much more to share. Because we live in the wonderful age of smartphones, social media, and livestreaming, you better believe someone captured this whole mess on video.
Chris Brooks came upon the bloody scene and, well, what transpires is almost seven minutes of some of the most invigorating on-scene commentary so far captured in 2019.
Brooks did not immediately respond to a request for comment. But in the video, he says he was just stopping by to get breakfast before work, and, well, "Look at this bullshit!"
He goes on: "Well I did seen it all. Somebody needs to call 911 on this dumbass. He gonna bring a dead-ass motherfucker raccoon and put him on the table."
The commentary (and A LOT of graphic language) continues throughout the video. Here it is:
In an interview with the San Francisco Chronicle, Brooks said the man initially entered the restaurant and came to the counter asking for help. Of the dead-ass raccoon, Brooks added, "I thought it was a dog at first."
When employees told the man to leave, however, he sat down and put the carcass on the table. There's no word on how the raccoon died.
And there you have it. Thanks for coming on this journey.