Authorities in Washington state say they have tracked down the man accused of throwing apples onto people's roofs for the last two years.
That's right. APPLES.
This is the man sheriff's officials dubbed the "Bad Apple Culprit."
Apparently, the Bad Apple Culprit has been tossing apples with impunity for two years.
During that time, homeowners have occasionally filed complaints after finding apples tossed onto their roof, which then end up in rain gutters. Sometimes a "nonsensical note" is also left behind, sheriff's officials said.
The Bad Apple Culprit recently addressed his letter "to the good citizens of Callisto."
In it, he discusses his "apple-ing," which apparently also targets nearby Portland, Oregon:
I crossed the Rubicon River.
Today I did five houses. My backpack had fifteen apples in it, three apples per house. I pull up on my bike, take my backpack off, get the apples out, put the backpack back on, walk up a little closer and throw them high in the air over the house. The second and third apples are still in the air when the first one hits. Within seconds I am mounted up and gone.
Roofs are not created equally so the sound effects vary. It can be nothing, to a muted thump, to louder thumps to almost a crashing sound. I can remember one house. The owner must have had mason jars stacked up under the eaves; the apples came down on them like bowling bowls. I've broken a few windows but that happens rarely. If there are overhanging tree limbs or wires, I try to avoid hazards like that.
"Apple-ing" five houses takes about seven minutes. For a while I was doing eleven houses, that was down in the Richmond neighborhood. As it turns out eleven is too many as one night a police car showed up. The way he came was the way I went as he didn't see me and I was surprised to see I was being followed by a Portland Fire SUV with four bicycles attached to the back.
Now I heard that Portland Police were stepping up bicycle patrols in the wake of nuisance crimes. I took a right and a left, another right and a left and dropped down to Ladd's Addition. So I started out at the Bagdad Theater and ended up in those nice gardens by the roundabout and there I lay down. I felt good being guarded by flowers.
It should be noted that the City of Portland might be the best place on earth for a hooligan riding a bicycle with a backpack filled with apples. There are bicyclists everywhere, even in the early morning hours. The neighborhoods are like corn fields, easy to get lost in.
As officials tried to track him down, residents had some ~opinions~ after officials posted home surveillance photos:
On Monday, Clark County Sheriff's Sgt. Fred M. Neiman told BuzzFeed News that the man had been tracked down, but that no charges would be filed.
"We did make contact with the individual pictured in Facebook and he was interviewed," Neiman said in an email. "The deputy found no cause for an arrest or citation and we have no proof of him actually tossing apples on roofs, only leaving the odd note, which doesn’t appear to be criminal or malicious, just weird."