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Kourtney Kardashian Just Confirmed She Attempted To Get Back Together With Scott Disick Before Hooking Up With Travis Barker

“People wonder why we can’t be a perfect little family and have a white picket fence. But it’s not that simple, and tonight’s good to see if we even like being together without the kids.”

Posted on April 2, 2021, at 1:01 a.m. ET

This is an excerpt from Kim, There’s People That Are Watching, BuzzFeed News’ brand-new newsletter dedicated to the 20th and final season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. You can sign up here.

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You may have heard that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end after 14 years and 20 seasons. Last night, the third episode of the final season aired. Here’s what unfolded...

This week, famously industrious Kourtney Kardashian appears to have taken on the role of both CEO and junior reporter of her lifestyle website, Poosh, telling Kris Jenner and her boyfriend, Corey Gamble, that she’s “working on an article” about the benefits of celibacy.

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Kourtney says it can give couples “more mental focus,” with some even managing to achieve orgasm by simply watching a sunset. “I want to have what they’re having!” Kris quips, and I think part of my soul just straight-up died.

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I’m not sure how it was decided that Kris’s sex life should be the fallback plotline of any given season, but this trend began in 2012, when Kourtney and Scott inexplicably re-created a sex tape Kris had made with Caitlyn Jenner, prior to Caitlyn’s transition.

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Then, two seasons ago, Kris spent most of an episode demanding sex with Corey in various public places before announcing her horniness to a silent restaurant during lunch with her daughters and expressing a desire to rub the tiramisu they’d just been served “all over her body.”

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Now Kourtney thinks that Corey and Kris should help her research “the science” behind her article by abstaining from sex for two weeks.

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In a detail no one asked for, Kris announces that this task will be challenging, since Corey is “horny as fuck,” while he reacts to participating with about as much enthusiasm as I have for watching this scene.

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After worrying the experience will make him feel “very negative,” Corey eventually exclaims, “DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS?!” as if mirroring the response of literally everyone watching. Sadly, he relents.

Ever the purveyor of subtlety, Kris spends the next scene wearing a pair of banana-shaped earrings while Corey announces out of nowhere that he’s concerned his penis might “never come back up” after “staying down too long,” and all I can do is offer my sincerest apologies for relaying this to you.

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After completing the celibacy challenge, Corey tells Kourtney he was glad to “support the exercise,” which is good, I guess, although a cursory site search tells me the celibacy article never appeared on Poosh.

If you were hoping for a less contrived B plot, I have bad news: 90% of this episode consists of heavily manufactured filler storylines. Case in point: The Kardashian/Jenner sisters arguing over who is more athletic.

The billionaire family decides that the most reasonable way to settle this dispute is by erecting a Spartan assault course in the backyard of their Malibu home.

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What unfolds is a baffling re-creation of a Spartan: Ultimate Team Challenge episode. At first I wondered what the hell was going on, but after digging a little, it turns out that the show is made by NBCUniversal, which owns E!, so it seems the Kardashians are doing some charity work by promoting other shows before bowing out of their own.

Kylie can’t even be bothered to film this storyline, and Kim also drops out on the day of the assault course, leaving only Kendall, Khloé, and Kourtney to compete. This is fine, because the stakes literally could not be lower, and Kendall is crowned the winner after 10 excruciating minutes.

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The closest we come to a non-contrived storyline this week is Scott and Kourtney contemplating the future of their relationship and exploring whether any romance still exists between them. But this isn’t exactly presented organically either.

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Things begin with Kourtney and Scott “coincidentally” showing up to the Malibu house on the same evening. They hang out together, say how good it is to spend time without the kids, and reminisce about their sex life.

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Meanwhile, the rest of the family are desperate for Kourtney and Scott to reunite. Kim and Khloé collude to set the pair up with a Switzerland-themed evening, since Kourtney believes that’s where she’ll find her husband.

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Khloé and Kim place Swiss flags all over the backyard and set up a candlelit dinner with “traditional music” playing. Khloé, apparently never having been aroused before, asks Kim if she thinks this blaring sound of yodeling goatherds is “sexy.”

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Kourtney and Scott arrive at the house to discover a scavenger hunt leading them out to the romantic setting.

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In a nod to the fact they were clearly both considering whether to pursue a romantic relationship at this time, Kourtney asks Scott if he was the one behind the surprise. They emphasize how important it is to spend time as a couple, as opposed to coparents, to see whether they even like being together without the kids.

Proving how comfortable they are around one another, the pair have a wonderful evening reminiscing about all the times Kourtney has accidentally peed herself in public. Cute!

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However, the next morning they tell a disappointed Kim and Khloé that they’re not back together. No one says “YET,” but I know subtext when I see it.

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The shift in family feeling toward Scott has always fascinated me. In earlier seasons, Khloé and Kris actively despised him.

Instagram: @khloekardashian

In fact, Kris’s disdain for Scott featured in KUWTK’s debut episode, with her accusing him of cheating on Kourtney. And who can forget the moment Khloé described Scott as a “deadbeat dad” and told Kourtney she should have an abortion during her first pregnancy?

The shift came around 2014, after Scott’s parents’ deaths and the subsequent escalation of his use of drugs and alcohol.

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The Kardashians banded together to support Scott right as his relationship with Kourtney began to fall apart. Now, years later, they’re desperate for the pair to reunite.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’d love a Skourt reunion as much as the next Kardashian, but it must be hard for Kourtney.

She split with Scott for valid reasons, but this — and the fear she must feel at the prospect of reuniting only for their old issues to resurface — is always forgotten in the family’s matchmaking.

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Welp, we’re now three weeks into what will be a relatively short final season of KUWTK, and I’m disappointed that this episode consisted almost entirely of filler, especially in the wake of last week’s “baby fever” storyline.

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I’m aware that the show’s contrived C and D plots have sparked some of its most iconic moments (Todd Kraines, anyone?!), but KUWTK is at its best when it prioritizes real-life drama, packing episodes with the behind-the-scenes fallout of public scandal or secret pregnancies and divorces.

Every episode counts in this final season, and I can’t enjoy the silly stuff when it comes at the cost of episodes devoted to the drama we know is unfolding behind the scenes.

The balance between drama and filler felt off this week, and I hope the rest of the season gives us loyal fans what we deserve: access to the family’s real lives before we lose it forever.

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A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.