Hey, people! Former Twi-hard over here. Yes, I've seen all the Twilight movies and have read all the books, numerous times. I was that kid.
So, when all the Twilight movies were put on Amazon Prime this month, I had to rewatch them. And let's just say, I have waaaayyyy more questions now than I did when I was 13.
1. OK, I get that Bella's the new girl and all, but can the students of Forks High School let the girl settle in before pouncing on her? Their obsession is unhealthy.
2. How is it that it took the fan blowing Bella's scent into Edward's direction for him to violently react? All vamps come equipped with super-smell, so why didn't he react this way when he saw her in the cafeteria?
3. How in the hell did Edward expect to transfer classes mid-semester? Like, Edward. You've been to high school long enough. That's not how credits work.
4. Speaking of school, are there no truancy officers in the city of Forks, Washington? How is it OK for the Cullens to miss so much school? Are they too pretty for detention?
5. How are the Cullens expected to blend in when they keep to themselves, drive expensive cars, and dress like they're fresh off the pages of a J. Crew catalogue? Clearly they're not trying that hard...
6. You just got into a car accident, which resulted in a trip to the hospital, and...you're surprised that your dad told your mom that you almost died at school today?
7. Not once, up until this point, has Bella mentioned being anything more than lab partners with Edward, so why is he so insistent on them being friends, and then not being friends, and then being friends?
8. Why did Bella haul-ass all the way down to Port Angeles to get that weird Vampire Cult book, when she could have gotten it sent straight to her door, no questions asked, in 1-2 business days?
9. Do Edward and Bella have moral objections to, like, coffee shops or something? Why are all their conversations/dates in this weird-ass forest.
10. "I wanted to kill you." Um, ex-squeeze-me? I know homeboy sparkles and is cute and all, but how did this not send Bella running for the hills?
11. I know they have to repeat high school over and over (jk, no I don't), but, like, why not go to college? Seems like a better use of time/more fun than taking Trigonometry for 90-plus years.
12. Um, he just said he watches you sleep. And that doesn't bother you...AT ALL??!!
13. Um, Emmett, what exactly are you doing?
14. In vampire culture, is "monkey" a term of endearment? What happened to "honey" or "sweetums" or, like, "babe"?
15. If Edward is so obsessed with protecting Bella from everything, how is no one concerned with her standing right behind home plate? Like, if she got hit? Especially with Alice's curveball?
16. How is Edward surprised that James, Victoria, and Laurent picked up on Bella's scent? They are, you know, vampires. Super-smell is part of the package.
17. Was...flying not an option? Seems like less trouble than taking all these cars and running around in the woods to throw James off of Bella's scent trail. JetBlue could have done that, no problem.
18. Bella knew she was going to go face-off against James. Without her vampire squad. So, all she brought...was a can of pepper spray?
19. If Edward was back in Forks while Bella went with Alice and Jasper, how did he get to Phoenix so fast? Actually, how did James get to Phoenix so fast, too? I know they run fast, but, like, not that fast.
20. If Carlisle is the one with the most vampire-restraint, why did he make Edward suck the venom out of Bella? Seems like that could have gone south real quick.
21. And lastly, but most importantly, WHY DID BELLA PUT UP WITH ALL THIS EDWARD/JAMES/VAMPIRE DRAMA WHEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD THIS??
Wow, that was an emotional roller coaster. Time to do it all over again with New Moon.
