9 Insidious Ways Technology Replaced Our Parents

Growing up is for other generations.

1. Childhood: Parents bitch at you to turn that damn music down before you blow your eardrums.

"Adulthood": Smart phone passive aggressively reminds you to turn that damn music down before you blow your eardrums.

2. Childhood: Parents run the vacuum, all you have to do is get your toys off the floor.

Post-Childhood: The Roomba runs automatically (just make sure you pick up your ducks).

3. Childhood: Parents trudged into the cold to defrost the car while you waited inside.

Grown-Up?: Your car defrosts itself while you mainline enough coffee to survive the commute.

4. Childhood: Parents capture memories and catalogue them for the future.

Adulting: Social media captures memories and logs them away for later perusal.

5. Childhood: Parents keep tabs on the weather, tell you when to take an umbrella.

Full-Grown Human: The weather keeps tabs on itself, let's you know when to take an umbrella.

6. Childhood: Parents make you eat healthy or starve*.

Technically Done Growing: Your wristband reminds you to eat more fiber, less fat.

7. Childhood: Laundry is magical. Clothes go into the hamper dirty and come back warm and clean.

Arrested Development: Laundry is magical. It goes into the hallway dirty and comes back clean and folded.

8. Childhood: Parents cared for pets while you reaped the benefits of animal love.

Pet Parent: Automatic dispensers care for pets while you reap the benefits of animal love.

Automatic timed food dispensers and an all-seeing eye that cleans up cat litter take some of the manual labor out of pet ownership.

9. Childhood: Parents nag you to get off the computer and do something with your life.

Legally An Adult: The computer nags you to get off the computer and do something with your life.