9 Insidious Ways Technology Replaced Our Parents
Growing up is for other generations.
1. Childhood: Parents bitch at you to turn that damn music down before you blow your eardrums.
"Adulthood": Smart phone passive aggressively reminds you to turn that damn music down before you blow your eardrums.
2. Childhood: Parents run the vacuum, all you have to do is get your toys off the floor.
Post-Childhood: The Roomba runs automatically (just make sure you pick up your ducks).
3. Childhood: Parents trudged into the cold to defrost the car while you waited inside.
Grown-Up?: Your car defrosts itself while you mainline enough coffee to survive the commute.
4. Childhood: Parents capture memories and catalogue them for the future.
Adulting: Social media captures memories and logs them away for later perusal.
5. Childhood: Parents keep tabs on the weather, tell you when to take an umbrella.
Full-Grown Human: The weather keeps tabs on itself, let's you know when to take an umbrella.
6. Childhood: Parents make you eat healthy or starve*.
Technically Done Growing: Your wristband reminds you to eat more fiber, less fat.
7. Childhood: Laundry is magical. Clothes go into the hamper dirty and come back warm and clean.
Arrested Development: Laundry is magical. It goes into the hallway dirty and comes back clean and folded.
8. Childhood: Parents cared for pets while you reaped the benefits of animal love.
Pet Parent: Automatic dispensers care for pets while you reap the benefits of animal love.
Automatic timed food dispensers and an all-seeing eye that cleans up cat litter take some of the manual labor out of pet ownership.