The Witch's Curse On Trump's Twitter Is Finally Broken

Gather round, one and all, for a cautionary fairy tale of hubris, irony, and old tweets.

Many moons ago, in a dark and distant wood, a young princeling came across a weary traveler.

“Hark, sire!” called the traveler from beneath tattered robes. “Might I sip from your goatskin flask? I am parched and require aid.”

“Never,” replied the vain princeling.

Suddenly, the mysterious traveler shed their cloak to reveal themself as a powerful and ancient witch.

“You, sir, denied me grace when I requested it,” said the witch. “For that, I will curse you.”

“Your curse,” muttered the witch, “is that as events transpire in your life, they will frequently look ironic due to things you yourself will have previously written on a digital microblogging service that allows for text of up to 140 characters but which will later be expanded to 280. As you go through life, mostly getting everything you desire, people will compare things you have said and done with things you have previously written that will now seem ridiculous in hindsight. They will say, ad infinitum, ‘There’s always a tweet!’ or ‘How is there always a tweet?!’ or some such variation. This will not affect you in any meaningful way, as you are mostly oblivious to shame and self-awareness, but it will give a small subset of people some brief amusement in dark times. Really, I suppose, the curse is more on them than it is on you, but you get the general idea. You’ll eventually be banned from the platform, but it will really feel like a theme for four years or so.”

Confused, the young princeling continued on his way, not aware the witch’s curse was just beginning...

“Donald Trump Bubble Burst by Ted Cruz Win in Iowa Caucus”

A Trump tweet reads, "No one remembers who came in second." - Walter Hagen
A Trump tweet reads, President Obama played golf yesterday???
A Trump tweet reads, We pay for Obama's travel so he can fundraise millions so Democrats can run on lies. Then we pay for his golf.
A Trump tweet reads, Can you believe that, with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter
A Trump tweet reads, @BarackObama played golf yesterday. Now he heads to a 10 day vacation in Martha's Vineyard. Nice work ethic.
A Trump tweet reads, Many people are saying it was wonderful that Mrs. Obama refused to wear a scarf in Saudi Arabia, but they were insulted.We have enuf enemies
A Trump tweet reads, My sense is that people are far angrier at the President than they are at Congress re the shutdown -- an interesting turn!
A Trump tweet reads, Obama has missed 58% of his intelligence briefings. But our president does make 100% of his fundraisers
A Trump tweet reads, Fact -- Obama does not read his intelligence briefings nor does he get briefed in person by the CIA or DOD. Too busy I guess!

“Trump Strikes Syria”

A Trump tweet reads, 
A Trump tweet reads, The President must get Congressional approval before attacking Syria-big mistake if he does not!
A Trump tweet reads, "An interesting cartoon that is circulating." The cartoon shows the Framers of the constitution and has the caption, "I keep thinking we should include something in the constitution in case people elect a fucking moron."
A Trump tweet reads, We need a President who isn't a laughing stock to the entire World. We need a truly great leader, a genius at strategy and winning. Respect!
A Trump tweet reads, Obama's complaints about Republicans stopping his agenda are BS since he had full control for two years. He can never take responsibility
A Trump tweet reads, Peaceful protests are a hallmark of our democracy. Even if I don't always agree, I recognize the rights of people to express their views.
A Trump tweet reads, @conservativeJT: @bluejoni @realDonaldTrump Trump is an American that will pay more taxes in one year than you pay in your entire life
A Trump tweet reads, 3 Chief of Staffs in less than 3 years of being President: Part of the reason why @BarackObama can't manage to pass his agenda
A Trump tweet reads, Ebola has been confirmed in N.Y.C., with officials frantically trying to find all of the people and things he had contact with. Obama's fault
A Trump tweet reads, All the governors are already backing off of the Ebola quarantines. Bad decision that will lead to more mayhem.
A Trump tweet reads, President Obama has a major meeting on the N.Y.C. Ebola outbreak, with people flying in from all over the country, but decided to play golf!
A Trump tweet reads, President Obama has a personal responsibility to visit & embrace all people in the US who contract Ebola!
A Trump tweet reads, When foreigners attend our great colleges & want to stay in the U.S., they should not be thrown out of our country
A Trump tweet has a picture of him with staffers giving a thumbs up on Air Force One and reads, Congratulations to all of the "DEPLORABLES" and the millions of people who gave us a MASSIVE (304-227) Electoral College landslide victory!
A Trump tweet reads, Vladimir Putin said today about Hillary and Dems: "In my opinion, it is humiliating. One must be able to lose with dignity." So true!
A Trump tweet reads, Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?
A Trump tweet reads, Congrats to Alec Baldwin, his new wife will be great for him and a gem

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