In Washington, D.C., the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial commemorates the life and work of America's longest serving president.
You know, FDR.
This weekend, however, something was different.
What was it?
What was happening?
What the hell was going on?!?!
It was Pokémon Go. Pokémon Go has happened. Pokémon Go — in part due to the several Poké Stops on site, as noted previously in Washingtonian — had taken over the sprawling memorial park.
Let's see what visitors found — in FDR's own words.
"Freedom of speech. Freedom of worship. Freedom from want. Freedom from war." And Magikarps. Lots of Magikarps.
"They (who) seek to establish systems of government based on the regimentation of all human beings by a handful of individual rulers... call this a new order. It is not new and it is not order." But, if you must, Team Mystic.
"I see one-third of a nation ill-house, ill-clad, ill-nourished. The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much, it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little." People were constantly setting lures so that everyone visiting was able to catch lots of Pokémon, so, that's a start.
"I propose to create a civilian conservation corps to be used in simple work... More important, however, than the material gains will be the moral and spiritual value of such work." Hatching 2.0 km eggs, basically.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." And running out of Poké Balls.
"I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from the wounded... I have seen the dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed... I have seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war." Best leave this one alone.
"More than an end to war we want an end to the beginnings of all wars." Gym battles are fine, though.
"We have faith that future generations will know that here, in the middle of the twentieth century, there came a time when men of good will found a way to unite, and produce, and fight to destroy the forces of ignorance, and intolerance, and slavery, and war." Similarly, a decade and a half into the twenty-first century, people united over Pokémon Go.
"We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization." Hmm.
"We must be the great arsenal of democracy." Level up.
TL;[F]DR: Lessons learned. Pokémon caught. Winners all around.