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If You Haven’t Been Living By Bill O’Reilly’s “Tip Of The Day” You Have Not Been Living

Rule #5: Don't speak to morons.

Posted on December 19, 2017, at 10:44 p.m. ET

Since he was ousted from Fox News for allegedly sexually assaulting multiple women, Bill O'Reilly has picked up a new hobby on Twitter: giving random life advice in the form of a "Tip of the Day."

Rashid Umar Abbasi / Reuters

Fox fired O'Reilly, once one of the most prominent news hosts on cable television, in April after a bombshell New York Times report that the network paid $13 million to five women to settle harassment allegations against O'Reilly, who has denied the claims.

Since his exit from the conservative news channel, the 67-year-old has been publishing articles on his website, discussing news on a podcast, and, now doling out daily life tips on Twitter.

The advice covers everything from how to avoid overeating to dealing with "morons" and are super insightful and Fun! Here are some of the best takes on how to live your best life, because, let's face it, we all could use a little help to survive 2017.

O'Reilly apparently brought back this wonderful daily ritual on Thanksgiving, with a healthy and helpful tip on how not to overeat at dinner: Drink a glass of water! Brilliant.

The Tip of the Day is back! Before eating Thanksgiving dinner, drink a glass of water. That will slow down your ap… https://t.co/fytRm53VAJ

But if you do gain a few pounds, it's not your fault! Clothing companies have "stealthily cut back on material," so don't stress if you're spilling out of your clothes or going from an XL to an XXL, it's not you, it's them.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: many clothing companies have stealthily cut back on material, so order your stuff one si… https://t.co/L5lfDlwX28

If you believe Christmas to be the best thing in the world, send a card, but only with a short personal note inside. If you don't like Christmas or writing that much, your words are meaningless.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: don’t send Christmas cards if you believe Christmas is not important. And if you do send… https://t.co/ztVInYMLM4

If you're having ~feelings~ about someone, wait at least 12 hours before telling them. Then, "put your feelings on the record in a thoughtful way," like a handwritten card! But "No insults," guys.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: if someone you know insults you or does something inconsiderate, wait at least 12 hours… https://t.co/w8KtQTkokx

Except for morons. "Don't even speak to morons. If you assess a person that way, avoid all contact." Even printed messages. Seriously. Run.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: don’t even speak to morons. If you assess a person that way, avoid all contact. You ca… https://t.co/AYNWyqC3Ff

O'Reilly also has some handy ways of dealing with solicitors. If one calls you, "do not engage." Ask them to, you guessed it, write you a letter! But make sure there's "no edge in your voice, folks are just trying to make a living."

Tip of the Day: when a phone solicitor calls you, do not engage. Politely say: “Sorry, but we do not do business o… https://t.co/80Q1nifplr

No one got time for that.

Actually, to avoid receiving these calls altogether, maybe don't give out your phone number on the internet. Duh.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: never, ever give anyone your phone number on the internet. It will be sold to marketers… https://t.co/V4dQYdJRna

If you are in a bad mood, like after being harassed by phone solicitors because you gave out your number to strangers on the internet, don't make any decisions!

Here’s the Tip of the Day: bad moods strike all human beings. Do not make any decisions when you are in one. None!!!!!

If someone else is in a bad mood, like at a family gathering, interviewing them on the spot does the trick! Asking them personal questions when they are pissed off "will immediately calm them down." Unless they are a moron, in which case avoid all contact (see tip #5).

Tip of the Day: If a person with you at Thanksgiving gets rowdy or combative, start to interview them. Ask about wh… https://t.co/NTvrSuQOr1

And when you're out in the world, know that you are worth it. If you are not getting good service, tell the manager and leave. That sometimes means leaving your food, but remember, it's because you're worth it!

Here’s the Tip of the Day: when visiting a restaurant or store always be polite but know you are entitled to good s… https://t.co/TkXnHIzcVk

If you want to make your life easier, (and who doesn't?) don't have bad breath. Period.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: fresh breath will make life easier. The best mouth wash in the marketplace is… https://t.co/a4owI7ODxV

And finally, question everything, including your neighbors and the things you hear and read. So you might want to disregard all of these tips that you just found on the internet.

Here’s the Tip of the Day: no longer can Americans expect truth-telling. Be very skeptical about what you hear, rea… https://t.co/aIXlFOitFp

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