August Recess is the break Congress gets for the month of August.
The tradition dates back to the days before air conditioning, when the summer's heat and oppressive humidity would make Washington, D.C., a pretty miserable place.
Most every member uses the month to go home or take a quick vacation.
Meaning all the thousands of staffers who have been working the hectic legislative season...
... are pretty much left on the Hill, unsupervised.
The day your boss finally leaves:
You can finally SLEEP IN because you are allowed to go into work at 10 in the morning.
You can take as long as you want in the shower.
And leisurely get ready in the morning.
Getting dressed: "Who cares what I wear? Those lazy California staffers will be wearing shorts."
When you arrive at the office there might be some work to get caught up on... but you can do it at your own pace.
Two-hour lunch? "Make me."
You finally get a chance to hit on some interns.
Finally can play some office shenanigans on that new Staff Ass.
"A little bit of office drinking in the afternoon? I really don't see why not."
When the chief of staff walks in: "I just don't want to know."
"Leave work at 4? Yep."
Hitting up the bars after work to talk shit about the White House and leadership.
Mid-month you stop shaving completely.
Your biggest complaint to the interns:
This becomes your 3:45 meeting each day:
The boss calls casually to check in on what you are doing.
Go to the gym for a few hours.
When the intern at the front desk asks if you can take a constituent call.
By the end of August, your work schedule:
And you start getting a little stir crazy.
And this is what your boss will look like when he returns, because of this "pain in the ass, crucial" next session.
And returning to your regular routine will feel like:
But in the end, you are kind of happy to have some sanity restored.
But you will always remember August as the most magical month ever.
