Many Presidents attended their inauguration wearing top hats.
It was good fashion.
And made you look badass.
Even Kennedy wore one!
Dapper.
But then LBJ came along and ruined everything. No president since has worn a hat at all.
We're here to change that.
Forever.
Carter could have stood taller in a top hat.
Or even represented his home state.
Reagan would have rocked one.
Or even used a prop from "Bedtime for Bonzo."
H. W. Bush would have been stately looking.
Or he could have a Mad Hatter look, who cares? He's President.
Clinton would have been handsome in a top hat.
Or fabulous in one.
Commander in Chief Bush.
Or even time-traveling inventor Bush!
President Obama please wear one on Monday!
I'm sure your friend Aretha would approve.
"Yes I do!"
