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9 Harsh Political Realities Of Sharknado

You have been warned.

Posted on July 12, 2013, at 11:41 a.m. ET

1. Sharknados are caused by global warming.

"Global warming IS the reason…" says a reporter in the film before being eaten live on camera.

2. Sharknados are terrible for small business.

Multiple small business establishments were destroyed in the tragic film.

3. Sharknados have reignited the debate over the Second Amendment.

4. Sharknados can lead to animal cruelty.

5. The NSA may have been responsible.

One store owner affected by the Sharknado claims that the National Security Agency is responsible for unleashing sharknados on the American people.

6. There is no Obamacare coverage for pre-existing Sharknado injuries.

7. Aren't sharks already endangered enough?

The International Union for Conservation of Nature names 73 species of shark that are either endangered or vulnerable. Being tossed on land is terrible for their numbers.

8. The dad from Home Alone has fallen really far.

9. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced Friday that she is moving on in her career and will be heading up the California University system.

Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

The Sharknado, of course, was disastrous for the California coast.

Good luck with that.

UPDATE: HHS Secretary has confirmed that Sharknado injuries will be covered under Obamacare.

@Buzzfeed, in 2014, #Sharknado injuries will be covered as a pre-existing condition under #Obamacare

Kathleen Sebelius


@Buzzfeed, in 2014, #Sharknado injuries will be covered as a pre-existing condition under #Obamacare