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29 Pieces Of Astute Political Wisdom From The Dowager Countess Of Grantham

Well, we can't have him assassinated... I suppose.

Posted on February 20, 2013, at 9:53 a.m. ET

Welcome to politics 101 with the Dowager Countess of Grantham.

Congress: "Yes, we are listening."


1. Be patriotic.

PBS, Carnival Film & Television Limited 2011 for MASTERPIECE, Nick Briggs / AP

2. Learn an intimidating negotiation face.

3. Know how to deal with your detractors.

4. Remember this of your colleagues:

5. Announce when you disapprove.

6. Get rid of rude staff.

7. Don't be afraid to discuss class in society.

8. Learn this:

9. Become an international realist.

10. Learn how to fundraise.

11. And have confident policies.

12. Have an excellent work ethic.

13. Deal with the European financial crisis.

14. Assess America's economic condition.

And give us encouragement about it!

15. Then say this:

16. Make this your motto: "Why does everyday involve a fight with an American?"

17. Understand how to react at emotional events.

18. Demand a strict dress code for your staff.

19. Politely discharge your political rivals.

This will delight your supporters.

20. Embrace social media, like twitter.

21. Remember this sage advice:

22. Make campaign materials like this:

Benny johnson


Benny Johnson

23. Do this when someone asks you to raise taxes on the middle class.

24. Be politely proud of where you came from.

25. Make this face when leadership does something stupid.

Make this face when Vice President Joe Biden enters the room.

26. Wear bright colors.

27. Don't 'officially' assassinate anyone.

28. Never miss a breakfast/ lunch/ dinner with constituents.

29. Remember this whenever you are writing a speech.

Maggie Smith for President.