15 Reasons Arizona Should Take Steven Seagal Seriously As A Candidate For Governor
Move over, Jan Brewer.
This is current Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer.
Probably the most ballsy thing she has ever done is wag a finger at Obama.
That's possibly why preeminent universal badass and political genius Steven Seagal has announced he is gonna up the governor's game in the Sun Devil state.
Don't take Steven Seagal is a serious candidate for governor?
Answer honestly, Arizona: Do you want a governor who has a 7th-dan black belt in Aikido?
He could enter the governor's mansion like so.
He would be able to easily handle political detractors.
At 6'4", he would be the tallest governor in America.
He would also be the only governor in America with his own energy drink.
He has ready-to-order campaign slogans.
Gamers in Arizona could finally have a hero they could look up to.
This is a candidate who likes music.
He has two albums. How many albums do most governors have?
Your team is the Sun Devils, right?
Seagal did a movie called Into the Sun, which is essentially the same thing.
He would not have the silly inhibitions that all the other governors have.
Seagal has an elite sense of style for any occasion.
What other gubernatorial candidate would look like this getting out of a motorcade?
Sometimes, he just wears pashminas.
Or this shirt/suit jacket combo.
He knows what it is like to be on both sides of the law.
And has solutions for when crooked cops get out of hand.
This is a candidate who can have serious, nuanced debates.
A candidate you can relate to, emotionally.
Someone with deep experience in international relations.
So remember, take Seagal seriously.
Otherwise, California and Minnesota will make fun of you.