On Al Jazeera being "the mouthpiece of al Qaeda" and interviewing "a woman wearing a burqa, probably speaking in tongues or something."
McDaniel says the Al Jazeera "brainwashing" will work in the United States because "that many Muslims just looking for an excuse to hate this country even more than they already do.”
"She's wanting the brainwashing to occur, and the sad thing is it will work in this country because there are that many Muslims just looking for an excuse to hate this country even more than they already do."
On what an Al Jazeera "home shopping network" would be like:
McDaniel: "My imagination is running. What about the Al Jazeera home shopping network? What do you buy there, like, swords?"
McDaniel: "Burqas, swords, sandals."
Co-Host: "Pink, black, white. Which one do you like the best?"
McDaniel: "I like it. It sounds fabulous. Maybe some non-pork products."
Co-Host: "Non-pork and also there's burqas. Numerous sizes, colors, fabrics. Silk burqas. Burlap burqa. Linen burqa."
McDaniel: "And the fabulous Muslim music. The Ramadan calendars."
Co-Host: "Yes, let's say you live in a cold area. Let's say you're in Dearborn, Mich. It's a little cold, maybe you want a wool burqa. You can get it on Al Jazeera Home Shopping Network."
McDaniel: "Sports Illustrated Ramadan bikini."
Co-Host: "Can you imagine the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition on Al Jazeera Home Shopping Network?"
McDaniel: "That's hot. That is so hot. Don't talk about that."
Co-Host: "Who's the cover model? Nice eyes. Nice, big eyes. "
McDaniel: "Absolutely. She's fine."
Co-Host: "Unlimited parody. Very, very disturbing."
McDaniel: "Look at her wrist. That's a beautiful wrist."
Co-Host: "Nice ankle. Oh wait, is ankle grounds for slaughter?"
Mcdaniel: "Yes. She'll die for that."
Co-Host: "Wrist, OK? Ankle, no?"
McDaniel: "Wrist is ok. Ankle, she'll die."
Co-Host: "She'll die for that. There's a price for beauty—it's death."
On John Kerry's marriage:
"Teresa Heinz Kerry giving money to Hillary Clinton — $2,100, which is the maximum donation she can give. Now what does that tell you about the Kerry's marriage? [laughs] Can you say something's wrong in Kerryland?"
On Coretta Scott King's funeral:
"Coretta Scott King — as nice a life as I'm sure she lived and as good a lady as I'm sure she was — it seems the entire funeral has now been tainted. Nobody really remembers it was about Coretta Scott King; you remember the politics. To me funerals are very somber events affairs and maybe they shouldn't be. Maybe we should be jumping the pews. Yesterday was a time to remember her, not to take political potshots at George W. Bush."
On Hurricane Katrina and Jimmy Carter:
"Listen to what [Jimmy Carter] said yesterday talking about Hurricane Katrina. Now bear in mind, 10,000 people there are listening to this, and the current sitting president of the United States of America — this is what Jimmy Carter said. 'We only have to recall the color of the faces of those of Louisiana, Alabama, and Mississippi who are most devastated by Katrina, to know' — listen to that, he knows — 'that there are not yet equal opportunities for all Americans.' You got to be kidding me. 'Look at the color of the faces and know there's not equal opportunity'? As far as I can tell, Mr. Carter, everybody had equal opportunity to get out of the way of a Category 5 storm that we all knew was coming for over a week. How do we know this? You're looking at it, brother. I was right in the heart of the storm. The eye of that storm came right over my house, my friend."
On hate crimes and "homosexual churches":
"Nine churches now burned in Alabama, apparently all Baptist. I am a Southern Baptist. Could this be a hate crime, that's the question. Are churches protected the same way, let's just say, a homosexual would be? I'm curious, if this was a homosexual church — do those even exist? If this was a homosexual church, and there were nine that burned down, what would the outcry be? It'd be incredible."
On poverty and welfare:
"The key to beating poverty is not about beating racism, as nice as that might be to do. The key to beating poverty is to educate people. In the black community right now, 78% of kids that are born are born out of wedlock. That is no father in the household to be there to control the kid, to make sure the kid gets a good education, to make sure the kid goes to school, to make sure the kid doesn't get in trouble. When 78% of those families are broken up, what makes that kid believe that the education he's getting in high school is something he has to have to come out of the poverty level. And the answer is simple: nothing."
On the poor and the social safety net:
"Well, you know what man, I tell you, you never want to lose what little bit of a social safety net we may have, but there comes a point in time, the poor have to step up and make something of themselves. And this income redistribution we always see is not fair to the rest of us."
"How much money do you have to spend on poverty before you recognize that most poor folks aren't that much better off than they were 40 years ago? Some stats show they're even worse off than they were 40 years ago. That's after these $7 trillion dollars spent by the federal government. Right now in this country, 80 poverty-related programs exist as I speak. They spend $500 billion per year fighting poverty. Is $500 billion not enough? Because it should be. Question: How much are we spending per each person in this country, who is 'under the poverty limit'? The answer: The government spends $13,500 per person fighting poverty. And yet we're no better off."
"Some folks are on disability and it's well-deserved. But there are others out there taking advantage of this. And friends, that has to stop today. You're taking the soul out of people. You're literally removing their will to work and be a part of this American dream when all you do is subsidize their lazy behavior. What better feeling is there in the world then when you've accomplished something without the help of somebody else? Even more so, without the help of the federal government."
On a man convicted in 2006 of possessing 15,000 files of child porn:
On Janet Reno and Rosie O'Donnell:
Later, McDaniel says a lesbian Brokeback Mountain "is the perfect film for Rosie (O'Donnell) and Janet (Reno).
On Rudy Guilani on same-sex marriage:
Gideon Resnick is a political reporter at BuzzFeed. His work has appeared in VICE, the Atlantic and the Daily Beast.