If Presidential Candidates Were Extinct Animals

Closest relative: Megatherium, a.k.a. an elephant-sized ground sloth.

Traits shared with candidate: Both are huuuuuuge, weary of humans encroaching on "their" land, and perhaps a bit too cavalier about climate change.

Closest relative: Anancus, an elephant ancestor that lived during the time of the mammoths.

Trait shared with candidate: The view that females are just as capable as males when it comes to leading the herd.

Closest relative: Spinosaurus, an impressive dinosaur thought to be one of the largest carnivores ever.

Shared trait: A deep and abiding interest in hydration.

Closest relative: The Pyrenean ibex, a relative of the modern goat that was declared extinct in the year 2000.

Traits shared with candidate: Both share a deep value for self-reliance and both are unafraid to put themselves out there, be it on a cliff face or an ideological ledge.

Closest relative: Rodhocetus, an ancestor to modern whales that went extinct about 40 million years ago.

Traits shared with candidate: Both have a unique and well-studied ancestry, and both are anxious to define themselves in a new environment independent of their relatives and ancestors.

Closest relative: The Barbary lion.

Traits shared with candidate: Both have rambunctious hair and are not afraid to share some of the wealth from time to time.

Closest relative: Megaladapis, an extinct lemur.

Trait shared with the candidate: A general preference to be left alone most of the time.

Closest relative: Peltephilus, a pioneering, armadillo-like early mammal last seen around 23 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: Thick skin, which can easily deflect insults or attacks with metaphoric and/or literal armor.

Closest relative: Psephophorus, an extinct group of leatherback-like turtles.

Traits shared with candidate: Toughness, defensiveness, and a life surrounded by enemies.

Closest relative: Nothrotheriops, a slightly smaller-sized ground sloth compared to Megatherium and Trumptherium.

Trait shared with candidate: Doesn't get the same kind of attention as Trumptherium/Megatherium.

Closest relative: Lystrosaurus, a reptile-like creature that survived the worst mass extinction in the history of life and briefly dominated the planet around 250 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: An aptitude for apocalypse survival.

Closest relative: Atopodentatus, an enigmatic marine reptile that went extinct 240 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: Verstality. Just as Atopodentatus easily transitioned between water and land, so too has Dr. Carson has made the perilous leap from medicine to politics.