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If Presidential Candidates Were Extinct Animals

Watch out for that Trumpatherium. You never know what he is going to do next!

Last updated on July 3, 2018, at 1:26 p.m. ET

Posted on October 5, 2015, at 2:55 p.m. ET

1. Trumpatherium

Closest relative: Megatherium, a.k.a. an elephant-sized ground sloth.Traits shared with candidate: Both are huuuuuuge, weary of humans encroaching on "their" land, and perhaps a bit too cavalier about climate change.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Megatherium: Nobu Tamura, Trump: Sean Rayford / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Megatherium, a.k.a. an elephant-sized ground sloth.

Traits shared with candidate: Both are huuuuuuge, weary of humans encroaching on "their" land, and perhaps a bit too cavalier about climate change.

2. Clintonancus

Closest relative: Anancus, an elephant ancestor that lived during the time of the mammoths. Trait shared with candidate: The view that females are just as capable as males when it comes to leading the herd.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Avanacus: Nobu Tamura, Clinton: Darren McCollester / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Anancus, an elephant ancestor that lived during the time of the mammoths.

Trait shared with candidate: The view that females are just as capable as males when it comes to leading the herd.

3. Rubiosaurus

Closest relative: Spinosaurus, an impressive dinosaur thought to be one of the largest carnivores ever. Shared trait: A deep and abiding interest in hydration.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Spinosaurus: Nobu Tamura, Rubio: Bryan Thomas / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Spinosaurus, an impressive dinosaur thought to be one of the largest carnivores ever.

Shared trait: A deep and abiding interest in hydration.

4. The Paulrenean ibex

Closest relative: The Pyrenean ibex, a relative of the modern goat that was declared extinct in the year 2000.Traits shared with candidate: Both share a deep value for self-reliance and both are unafraid to put themselves out there, be it on a cliff face or an ideological ledge.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Pyrenean: Joseph Wolf, Paul: Sean Rayford / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: The Pyrenean ibex, a relative of the modern goat that was declared extinct in the year 2000.

Traits shared with candidate: Both share a deep value for self-reliance and both are unafraid to put themselves out there, be it on a cliff face or an ideological ledge.

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5. Bushocetus

Closest relative: Rodhocetus, an ancestor to modern whales that went extinct about 40 million years ago. Traits shared with candidate: Both have a unique and well-studied ancestry, and both are anxious to define themselves in a new environment independent of their relatives and ancestors.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Rodhocetus: http://Pavel.Riha.CB, Bush: Frederic J Brown / AFP / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: Rodhocetus, an ancestor to modern whales that went extinct about 40 million years ago.

Traits shared with candidate: Both have a unique and well-studied ancestry, and both are anxious to define themselves in a new environment independent of their relatives and ancestors.

6. Bernbary Lion

Closest relative: The Barbary lion.Traits shared with candidate: Both have rambunctious hair and are not afraid to share some of the wealth from time to time.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Sultan: Nelson Robinson, Sanders: Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: The Barbary lion.

Traits shared with candidate: Both have rambunctious hair and are not afraid to share some of the wealth from time to time.

7. Megalacruzadapis

Closest relative: Megaladapis, an extinct lemur.Trait shared with the candidate: A general preference to be left alone most of the time.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Megatherium: Michael B. H, Trump: Scott Olson / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: Megaladapis, an extinct lemur.

Trait shared with the candidate: A general preference to be left alone most of the time.

8. Fiorinaphilus

Closest relative: Peltephilus, a pioneering, armadillo-like early mammal last seen around 23 million years ago. Trait shared with candidate: Thick skin, which can easily deflect insults or attacks with metaphoric and/or literal armor.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Peltephilus: Nobu Tamura, Fiorna: Scott Olson / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Peltephilus, a pioneering, armadillo-like early mammal last seen around 23 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: Thick skin, which can easily deflect insults or attacks with metaphoric and/or literal armor.

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9. Christiephophorus

Closest relative: Psephophorus, an extinct group of leatherback-like turtles. Traits shared with candidate: Toughness, defensiveness, and a life surrounded by enemies.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Psephophorus: Nobu Tamura, Christie: Andrew Burton / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Psephophorus, an extinct group of leatherback-like turtles.

Traits shared with candidate: Toughness, defensiveness, and a life surrounded by enemies.

10. Jindalthrotheriops

Closest relative: Nothrotheriops, a slightly smaller-sized ground sloth compared to Megatherium and Trumptherium.Trait shared with candidate: Doesn't get the same kind of attention as Trumptherium/Megatherium.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Nothrotheriops: Michael B. H., Jindal: Sean Rayford / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: Nothrotheriops, a slightly smaller-sized ground sloth compared to Megatherium and Trumptherium.

Trait shared with candidate: Doesn't get the same kind of attention as Trumptherium/Megatherium.

11. Hucklystrosaurus

Closest relative: Lystrosaurus, a reptile-like creature that survived the worst mass extinction in the history of life and briefly dominated the planet around 250 million years ago. Trait shared with candidate: An aptitude for apocalypse survival.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Lystrosaurus: Dmitry Bogdanov, Huckabee: Michael B. Thomas/ / Getty Images) / Via en.wikipedia.org

Closest relative: Lystrosaurus, a reptile-like creature that survived the worst mass extinction in the history of life and briefly dominated the planet around 250 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: An aptitude for apocalypse survival.

12. And of course, Carsontopodentatus!

Closest relative: Atopodentatus, an enigmatic marine reptile that went extinct 240 million years ago.Trait shared with candidate: Verstality. Just as Atopodentatus easily transitioned between water and land, so too has Dr. Carson has made the perilous leap from medicine to politics.
Alex Kasprak for BuzzFeed (Atopodentatus: Nobu Tamura, Carson: Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images) / Via spinops.blogspot.com

Closest relative: Atopodentatus, an enigmatic marine reptile that went extinct 240 million years ago.

Trait shared with candidate: Verstality. Just as Atopodentatus easily transitioned between water and land, so too has Dr. Carson has made the perilous leap from medicine to politics.

Best of luck in a crowded field, y'all!

FIFA/ESPN / Via giphy.com
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