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14 Similarities Between A Black Hole And My Love Life

It's about to get real dark up in here...

Posted on November 5, 2015, at 3:34 p.m. ET

1. Much like a black hole, my love life was once a hot, bright, shining star.

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2. Now all that remains is a dark chasm representing what once was.

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3. No light, literal or figurative, can escape from either my love life or a black hole.

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4. Many black holes are computer simulated, much like my love life.

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5. Despite countless efforts to understand the inner-workings of my love life, truly conceptualizing it may be as impossible as it is to conceive of the interior of a black hole.

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6. The center of a black hole is called a singularity. The center of my love life is also all about being single.

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7. Objects that make it to the singularity of a black hole are crushed to an infinite density and effectively disappear, just like my crushes.

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8. Once inside either a black hole or my love life, space and time lose all meaning.

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9. A movie about my love life would almost certainly be played by a Matthew McConaughey-like figure who is disconnected from his loved ones.

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10. Like a black hole's event horizon, my love life also has a boundary that, once passed, cannot be un-passed.

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11. Like my love life, a black hole pulls most things toward it, destroying those that get too close.

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12. The best way to spot a black hole is to view all the super-hot things trying to escape its pull. This is also a good approach for viewing my love life.

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13. Scientists had long held that a black hole was merely a mathematical fluke — an entirely theoretical entity. Such a position could easily be taken with regards to my love life.

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14. And finally, as was the case for black holes, it may just take a Nobel Prize-winning physicist to demonstrate my love life's existence.

Alex Kasprak / BuzzFeed

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