Non-Scientists React To Science Things

This is what happened when BuzzFeed Science asked our colleagues around the world to define some serious science terms.

1.

Matt: How fuckable you look in that outfit.

Crystal: A number directly correlated to how many drinks it takes to muster up the courage to talk to that hot guy at the bar.

Jenna: It describes how lazy something is. "This weekend has zero action potential. I'm just gonna watch Netflix."

Lara: The thing my teachers in middle school always told me I had if I'd just complete my math homework on time.

Juliane: The unknown prequel to Die Hard. The setting is Good Friday and an Easter Bunny attacking a Jesus impersonator in a mall.

Real definition: An electrical signal that carries information from the sensory organ to the brain via the nervous system.

2.

Matt: How fuckable you look in that outfit, but you're straight.

Jenna: How horny the lab rats are.

Sam: Is my mom going to read this answer?

Erin: [insert terrible sex joke about Paul Rudd here]

Victor: It's when you sell your last pair of boots to buy lab equipment.

Lara: Probably some shit society made up to talk about women without using the term "wifey material."

Real definition: The effect of an individual's genes on the value of a given trait in its offspring; sometimes called the additive genotype. It is equal to two times the deviation of the mean of the individual's offspring from the overall population mean.

3.

Matt: How fuckable I look in this outfit.

Crystal: A thing that goes up the more you drink.

Juliane: What I don't have when I'm trying to buy jeans.

Sarah A.: Your level of confidence going into an experiment?

Erin: This probably refers to how a white lab coat makes a scientist's CONFIDENCE LEVEL significantly higher. Final answer.

Sarah B.: When you start your experiment, the "confidence level" basically shows whether or not you think you will finish it or give up and watch Netflix.

Real definition: The range (with a specified value of uncertainty, usually expressed in percent) within which the true value of a measured quantity exists.

4.

5.

Bryan: Bacteria in my armpits.

Lara: Someone who fucking loves bungee jumping.

Sarah A.: EXTREME SCIENTISTS WHO DROP EGGS OFF THE ROOFS OF BUILDINGS.

Jenna: Someone addicted to extreme science.

Erin: I think this might be referring to me, and my dislike of people who use the word "extreme."

Real definition: The organisms that live in an environment where conditions are so extreme that few other species can survive there.

6.

Juliane: Happens on Black Friday in the US, I saw that in the news.

Crystal: What happens when you marry Henry VIII.

Sarah A.: This only occurs after experiments that require explosions. Flames probably.

Sarah B.: When those fizzy bubbles from your science experiment finally go back down.

Erin: Sweet sassy molassey, I HOPE this isn't about losing heads?! Is it?! This is a terrifying term.

Real Definition: The loss of pressure in a flow system measured using a length parameter (i.e., inches of water, inches of mercury).

7.

Erin: That's what she said. ;)

Crystal: A type of camera angle technique in adult filmmaking.

Victor: It's a term to describe how you put food in your fridge.

Sam: Ummmm again, is my mom going to read this?

Lara: Sex?

Jenna: 😏😏😏

Real Definition: Simple type of transposable element found in bacteria and their plasmids that contains only the information necessary for its own movement.

8.

Juliane: Danger Mouse's simpler brother.

Lara: A mouse that's super good at boxing? A real Ronda Mousey, if you will.

Sarah B.: The GODDAMN mouse that keeps breaking into our GODDAMN laboratory and eating all the GODDAMN cheese.

Bryant: A trap, so other mice come running to save the fallen hero.

Crystal: A new game the kids are playing.

Real definition: A knockout mouse is a laboratory mouse in which a gene or genes have been turned off or knocked out.

9.

Juliane: The device you measure "OMG" with.

Sam: It registers how powerful your orgasm is.

Sarah A.: It measures how long it took you to understand that joke that you heard yesterday.

Sarah B.: HOW OFTEN YOU ORGASM AM I RIGHT?

Lara: HAHAHA A WAY TO MEASURE ORGASMS. This isn't my fault.

Real definition: An ohmmeter is an electrical instrument that measures electrical resistance, the opposition to an electric current. Micro-ohmmeters (microhmmeter or microohmmeter) make low resistance measurements. Megohmmeters (aka megaohmmeter or in the case of a trademarked device Megger) measure large values of resistance. The unit of measurement for resistance is ohms (Ω).

10.

Jenna: Guys. Come on. I'm not falling for that.

Sam: It's a box for you boobs.

Lara: A box... For your boobs.

Sarah A.: How can this NOT have to do with boobs?

Real definition: A sequence found in the promoter (part of the 5′ flanking region) of many genes. Deletion of this site (the binding site of transcription factor TFIID) causes a marked reduction in transcription, and gives rise to heterogeneous transcription initiation sites.

11.

Juliane: Happens to all of us.

Sam: When your vibrator breaks when you really need it :(

Sarah A.: When you're clumsy AF and want to sound professional in your ~scientific report~ so you just say this made up thing.

Bryant: What scientist shift blame to when they get earthquakes wrong.

Sarah B.: When you cum too early because you had the vibrator on too high.

Victor: It's when your Nokia falls down while vibrating and breaks apart entirely.

Real definition: The maximum change in output of a transducer when a specific amplitude and range of frequencies are applied to a specific axis at room temperature.

12.

Juliane: My bedroom.

Lara: A BUTT HOLE.

Jenna: This is the toilet.

Sam: My bathroom.

Sarah B.: New Jersey.

Real definition:The area below the snowline where snow melt exceeds snowfall, and material is lost from a glacier.

Get your head out of the gutter, fool!

All definitions from the Concise Dictionary of Science.

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