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A Day At The Iowa State Fair With Chuck Grassley

Ah, the Midwest.

Benny Johnson BuzzFeed Staff

The Iowa State Fair is a huge event. It covers 10 acres and is attended by hundreds of thousands of people each year...

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...including many politicians wishing to curry favor with the politically charged Iowa electorate.

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But for over 40 years, the one political guarantee is that you will inevitably run into Iowa Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley.

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Here is how the 79-year-old, six-term senator owns that parade year after year. (Other politicians, take note.)

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24. Grassley arrives at the fair at 6:30 a.m. so he will "have time to see the good stuff."

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The "good stuff" includes some gigantic pigs:

23. He reps the fair with an embroidered oxford shirt.

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22. He is the favorite among the boys at the Veterans Parade.

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21. He gives happy local interviews.

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20. Grassley stumps for some feel-good causes.

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19. And has his wife keep him on schedule. She says:

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Mrs. Grassley scolds him for getting lost in the convention center.

18. He gets down on one knee and signs the gigantic elephant at the state party table.

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17. When a Democrat constituent shows up and starts yelling at him about how badly he treats Obama...

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...he listens, and then takes a photo with her.

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16. After this photo with the Flash Grassley hits the streets again because:

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15. Everyone and anyone comes up to Grassley at the state fair.

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14. That's because most EVERYONE knows he is their best friend.

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The senator can't go four feet without having someone stop him to tell him about whatever is going on in their life.

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13. And people almost always get a story out of him in return.

And you learn that the man has a real way with HANDSHAKES!

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12. When Grassley is talking to you, he will use 10 different types of handshakes to let you know he is interested.

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The first is just your typical handshake:

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Then comes the two-handed lean-in.

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"Nailed it."

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Up from that there is the Grassley forearm clamp.

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Next-level Grassley mastery is the two-constituent double-dip.

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The classic hand on shoulder.

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The double-shoulder bro plant.

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NOTE: Bros love the shoulder plant. (LOOK AT THIS GUY?!)

The single-elbow grab.

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The shoulder-shake combo.

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Then check out what happens when this Des Moines Register reporter comes up to ask him a question: He gets the Grassley grappling hook.

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And for the extent of the interview, Grassley gave that reporter the grapple hook, so he knew what's what.

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The senator side-hug.

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11. After 2.5 hours of practicing his handshakes, the senator stops and munches an ice cream.

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The man SERIOUSLY LOVES ice cream.

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10. But even during his break he tells stories to entertain these old-timers.

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9. He politely declines a few fried pickles.

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BUT THEY ARE DELICIOUS!

8. Grassley visits the famous butter cow, takes a photo...

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...and tweets it.

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(...with some marginal help from an intern.)

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7. Then for a last stop of the day, he hits up the PORK PRODUCERS TENT:

6. And he's got SWAG there...

5. Along with advice for the Iowa pork queen.

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She loves it.

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4. Then he grabs a pitcher of iced tea...

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...and starts serving everyone while they eat their pork chops.

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This lady can't believe it.

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I mean, he served everyone in the entire tent.

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3. Even a former Democratic congressman who used to oppose him ALL THE TIME loves him after that.

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Former Rep. Leonard Boswell.

2. While he was serving all these people, Mrs. Grassley waited quietly with a doggie balloon someone made her.

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1. And at the end of the day, they both sat down with a gigantic pork chop.

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And THAT is how you win the Iowa State Fair!

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